Let’s set something straight.

07 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment

by VickiKelly in Uncategorized

Okay people, it’s time to set something straight.

It’s okay NOT to be straight.

Have you ever known someone who was afraid people would find out they were gay?

Turns out, I do.

Being gay is not a disease, nor is it something you chose. Really, are some of you blissfully ignorent enough to think that? I don’t think so. But still, there is this extreme pressure or great tension in the world about this.

Maybe it’s the jokes. You know, the one where you call your friend a fag, or say your homeowork is really gay? Yeah well, sure, it’s funny to you, but think about they gay person sitting in the back of your class, you’re using what they are to INSULT someone. What if I said “You’re so straight” would that be an insult? No? Why? Because there is nothing wrong with being straight? Well, it turns out there is nothing wrong with being gay either.

Maybe it’s religion. Most religions have always said that couples consist of two different sex people. But just because Adam and Eve were a man and a woman, I don’t believe it means everyone was meant to be as they were. Just because it’s been defined this way, doesn’t mean it actually is this way. What, do you think there were no gay people a few hundred years ago? That it’s just this modern trend? I can’t say first hand that there were an gay couples. But how can you say first hand that there were not? For all we know there were, and they were just as afraid as people are now to tell their peers.

Maybe it’s people’s expectations. We’re all born, and when we are born, we are expected to be a certain way. If you’re a girl, you’re expected to wear a dress, if a boy, then pants. If you’re a girl, you play with barbies and watch Cinderella. If you’re a boy you play with cars and watch Spider-Man. That’s just the way things are. We’re moulded into being straight. So the day one person figures out they aren’t, how are they to tell the world? Things are supposed to be a certain way, and sometimes they turn out different. Who said different was bad?

Maybe it’s society. We have this constant desire to be part of something. Part of the mass, especially as teenagers. We need to belong. Society has it’s norms, to be part of it, you must fit these norms. Being straight seems to be one of them. In order to be part of us, you must be just like us. It sounds odd doesn’t it? Especially when the common motto of this society is “Be yourself”. You know what? BE yourself, gay or straight, you’ll still be part of the mass.

Stop the hate.

Well you know what; to the people who make jokes, to religion, to expectations and to society. FUCK IT.

You are who you are, and who you are, well it’s not about to change because of some stupid joke, or because religion says so, or because people ecpect it to or because society wants it to.

So go for it, fall in love, with whoever you want. Be yourself, no matter who that is. And know that there will always be someone out there to love and support you. And as for the rest? Just ignore them, they fade with time.

The pressure.

02 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment

by VickiKelly in Uncategorized

Being a teen. Easy right? No responsibilities, no taxes, no job, no family to support, no pressure.

This is a statement, it is an idea, it is a stereotype, concerning me. Concerning teens.

This statement is false.

Being a teen? Hardest time of your life. Expectations, grades, stereotypes, judging, mistakes, drama, pressure.

The one word I can use to summarize my teen life so far would be pressure.

This pressure is all around;

As a teen, many things are expected of me. I don’t just get this from my parents, it comes from all around. Everyone, out there, some where expects something from me. The truth is? I can’t meet everyone’s expectations. I can’t please everyone, not at the same time. My teachers, my friends, my parents… When everyone wants something from you and you try to give everyone every last thing, you crumble. I know, I’ve tried, and I’ve crumbled more than most would care to notice.

Good grades; the things my parents expect the most. The things my teachers, who don’t know the first thing about me, want me to get, so they can seem like a good teacher. Grades. Grades. Grades. I can’t even start to tell you how much sleep I have lost over these stupid numbers, printed on paper. 65? Terrible. 70? Bad. 80? Still not good. 90? Where is the missing 10? 100? Well finally! The thing is, I need these grades, these grades will determine what kind of future I have. No pressure right? I want to have a good future, but that doesn’t mean I’m not happy when I get 85 on a test. My parents don’t seem to realize I’m not wonder woman. I don’t have a super brain. I can’t possibly get a perfect grade every time I do a test. Yet this only seems to apply to me. For example, I got a 92 in chemistry. My parents were happy. My brother then announced he got 60.2 in philosophy. They cheered more for him than they did for me. I’m not jealous, don’t get me wrong, I know that it’s hard for him to get that, but if I came home and said I got under an 8- in chemistry, they would have shot me. Why expect so much? Can’t they realize the pressure is killing me? It’s destroying me.

Stereotypes and judging; I’m a nerd, I don’t like to have fun, I spend my nights buried in books. Haven’t you heard? This is something I face all the time. When I walk, when people look at me, this is what they see. They see a girl who can speak french and english, who can solve a math problem and explain a whole chem lab without looking in her books. They see a girl who gets involved in school life. And so, they see a nerd, a try hard, a loser. Yeah? If people only knew how wrong they were. If only they knew who was actually walking in front of them . They’re looking at a girl who has problems, who is fighting every single day to remain happy, who is constantly on the verge of losing one of the people who means the most to her, a girl who likes to go out and have a good time, a girl who only does well in school because she owes it to her family, a girl who for a while thought life wasn’t anything to be celebrated, a girl who is getting back on track. People would be shocked to know me. I mean REALLY know me.

Mistakes and drama; I make mistakes, every single teen out there is making mistakes. At this point, these mistakes seem like the end of the world. It’s hard to get past that thought and realize that really, there is nothing to them. No mistake can’t be solved. But life gets so dramatic. People, it’s hard to trust them. Trusting people is the biggest mistake I ever made. I let people in. I let them see who I really was. And then they left. With every thing I had ever told them, they walked away, some literally without a word. I’m not as strong as I look, I’ve been crushed by the people I thought would never hurt me. I’ve been destroyed by people who called themselves my friends. I’ve stopped living in order to survive, because living was becoming a torture.

So this is where all the pressure comes from, and the worst part is, no one knows, because until the day I physically sink down and crumble, I will not show how weak I am. I want to see who will realize how much has been taken away from me, I want to see who really cares.

-Vicki